Okay okay! blog submission is finally set up, WOOOOOOOOO!! The last step before my hiatus!!! I guess I'll finally actually update now. havent don a proper blog since april, idk whats new i forgot!!!

Been in not the *best* mental tbh. I miss havin a friend group n such. A big part of my daily life was checking in on what my friends were doing, but now it feels like I really only have 2 (and one boyfriend). I'd make new friends--and I have-- but it's hard to trust them after... everything. A lot of people will blatantly lie about supporting you is all I'll say.

I'm in a group of 3 best friends and we're really tight knit, but the fact of the matter is I'm not as close as they are to each other. That's not anyone's fault though. I don't dm people, I don't play/watch what they do, and I get burnt out hanging out with any one specific person too often. It sucks that I'm so antisocial compared to them--especially considering they're also antisocial so it's a me thing. I've just felt pretty isolated these days with no way out. I don't know. At the very least I have the comfort of my website.

Watching anime has been a bit hard. I share a room with my mom currently and anime isn't exactly the most family friendly thing. I think I really need this hiatus to really get back into the anime grindset. I might not tell my friends I'm actually taking a break this time. I don't know why I don't want to. I think I will tell them on second thought, making them worry is pretty shitty. I just still don't like indicating I'm not okay, I guess :T

...

Looking back that's probably why I fell so hard for my boyfriend, which is kind of weird to think about HAHA. I appreciate that my friends care so much, but sometimes it can feel overbearing--even if it isn't. I've always gravitated towards people who don't fuss over any issue I brought up to them. It's why I gravitated towards talking to people who don't care about whatever issue I have (or strangers). Despite Finn's bluntness and non-chalance, he actually did care. A lot more than most people I knew, frankly. He was the only one to comfort me "right," without much effort. He's the best. Future husband Finn FTW (that rhymes)

Anyhoo. This was an accidental longpost. I like the new blog layout. It feels seculuded and cozy, but I don't necessarily feel like I'm talking to a wall. Just... a place? Shrug.